Stories of Children,
Age 5 and Under
How can I say this and make sure you understand how amazing today was for me as a parent.
I went with Kobe (age 4) to see my horse, and as usual I hoped that today he might want to get closer to the horses and maybe pat them or possibly get on one of them. I have been taking him to my barn for over two years and as you know there have been times when Kobe wants to go his own way.
Today I approached the experience with Kobe in a different way. I wanted to let Kobe enjoy the environment but have me near to him as a support. We arrived at the farm and immediately he wanted to go and see the horse that was being trained in the outdoor arena. He also really enjoyed seeing all the dogs. Lately he has been really getting into Koko, so for him seeing other dogs is like getting a new play mate. These are not your usual house dogs. We are talking about a great dane, pit bull terrier, and rottweiler cross great dane. All these dogs are intense and I was a little freaked out at first to see Kobe following them and also trying to play with them. Of course I was there the entire time because I just don't trust animals. You never know what can happen, so I'd rather be around the dogs and kids because someone has to be in charge. Believe me the dogs knew that I was in charge.
Kobe and I finally made it into the outdoor arena and when Pat was finished riding (Cat), Kobe asked to go "up." Both Pat and I were a little shocked by his request because in the past you could hear Kobe for miles away whenever I tried to get him to ride a horse. Anyway today he went up and he loved it. Once he was up on the horse, Pat walked the horse and I held onto Kobe. He was so happy and didn't object to being up there. Pat was a little concerned for Kobe's safety as Cat is a retired race horse and has not had much exercise lately, so we ended the ride only after about three minutes.
We went to visit my horse frequently throughout the visit to the barn and Kobe fed Legend (my horse) apples and carrots. I finally decided to take Kobe and Legend for a walk down the lane. Last time I did this, Kobe went one way and Legend went the other. It was a nightmare, so today I was really reluctant to try stick handling both horse and kid again. I kept Kobe in close proximity and even had him hold onto Legend's lead (leash) during the walk. When we got to a part of the walk where I thought it was safe to let Kobe explore his environment I let him go. He went and checked out the really tall grass and almost fell into a bog. It's amazing how strong I can become when my kids are about to encounter danger or get dirty. Either way, I told him it was too dangerous and that he had to stay on the path. Both Kobe and Legend enjoyed the tall grass and mild wind.
At one point during the walk, Kobe said "up" and I thought he wanted me to carry him. I went down to pick him up and he reached up to go onto Legend. I said that we needed to get a saddle on Legend and then he could ride him. Now I had to walk Kobe and Legend (and the dogs) back to the barn and tack up Legend. We made it back to the barn and Kobe helped me throughout the entire process of getting Legend ready. He brushed Legend's tail and legs. He helped me carry the saddle over to the horse and when I needed him to hold something for me (saddle pad), he did.
When we got the horse into the indoor arena I had to get Kobe on the horse and pray that Legend wouldn't freak out as I put Kobe on him. We went over to the mounting blocks and Kobe climbed up the stairs and waited so patiently for Legend to get in the right position. I had to lift Kobe onto the saddle and keep Legend still all at the same time. Thank God my horse was calm today. Kobe got on top of Legend and really enjoyed walking around the arena. There are mirrors in the barn, so I would stop and point out that Kobe was "on horse-y." He looked at himself in the mirror and said "horse." I stopped at one point and asked him which way. Kobe's response was for us to go to the far end of the arena where we can see out into the fields. We got there and he could feel the wind blowing on his face. He said "wind." At that point he had been on Legend for over 10 minutes. I was amazed and when he said "all done," I told him that we had to do one more circle.
After the circle, I helped him off the horse and then we proceeded back to the tie backs (where we put on all the tack). Again he helped me with taking all the gear off Legend and then brushing him. We put Legend in his stall, gave him more treats and said goodbye. We then went outside and watched someone else riding their horse. This time Kobe sat in one of the chairs and ate an apple while watching my friend riding her horse. He didn't want to get on again, but was very happy to watch and also have the dogs slobber all over him.
We left the barn shortly after that and I asked him if he wanted french fries or swim. He said "swim." I told him that we would be going home first. He had another snack in the car on the way home and sang some songs which he is actively participating in. I held up my end of the bargain and we went swimming again today.
What can I say. My son and I had perhaps one of the best days together at the barn. I'm hoping for a repeat. I'm planning on bringing him out to the barn every Sunday so we will see what happens next week!
Many thanks to Marie S, British Columbia Canada, for her story.
"I do not know which I am happier with–his academic knowledge or his wanting to share with me."
When Kenneth was diagnosed at age 3 and a half years, I was presented with a 3-page list of service providers: doctors, speech therapists, occupational therapists, help centers, daycare centers, preschools and what-nots. I remember getting into the car after our 2-hr doctor appointment and started making calls. In the car! Right after Kenenth's diagnosis! And by God's grace, one of the people I called was Bimal Rai, then an RDI® Program Consultant-in-training•. And he was available to see us!
Being medical professionals, my husband and I are only too aware of the limitations of medical science. What we read up on autism therapy was not encouraging. We are also very aware of the danger of losing the plot in the pursuit of treatments. Therefore we tried to keep in mind that Kenneth should be as happy and natural as possible, that he should not be overloaded with a barrage of treatments, and that he should develop in his own time. In fast- paced, achievement- oriented, cookie-cutter Singapore, the last goal is much harder than you think.
So why did we choose the RDI® Program? We decided it sounded good enough: the video clips looked good, the Autism, Aspergers: Solving the Relationship Puzzle book put forth logical and convincing arguments, and most importantly, it is in line with what we want for our little boy. So we decided to try RDI® for a year.
It's been about 9 months now, and boy, what a time we are having. At its most basic, the RDI® Program forces us to spend time together. And mind you, it's time spent interacting, not working. Reviewing the videos made me so much more aware of the subtle undercurrents going on in my interaction with him. I have a new understanding of him and vice versa. His level of trust in me has gone up.
And Kenneth? He's still a happy little boy. But he's added more dimensions to his personality: learning to speak in sentences, showing a caring side, being able to relate events that happened earlier. Recently, he discovered the Mandarin words he's been learning have an English equivalent and he excitedly showed me his new knowledge. I do not know which I am happier with–his academic knowledge or his wanting to share with me. Of course he's still a work in progress, just like all of us.
And what am I going to do when the year's up? It's a no-brainer–continue doing what works.
Many thanks to Hui Boon & Mark, Singapore, for their story.
* Bimal Rai is now a Certified Consultant.
"My typical children do not come to me when it's chore time ... but Drew does!"
Recently, I had a wonderful RDI® moment with my son, Drew! He is 32 months old and we have been working on the "we do" [we-go] aspect of RDI® by washing dishes together. I began doing them myself a few days ago because he had done quite a bit of other therapies that morning and I thought he might want a break instead of helping. Seconds after I filled the sink, he was standing at my side, looking at me and trying to get my attention. I asked him "Do you want to help?" and he got very excited and held out his arms so I could assist him to stand on a chair beside me and help. He had remembered doing the dishes with me the previous time, because he reached into the sink and took the sponge and swiped at the plate...and then I handed him each dirty dish so he could put it into the soapy water...he did so happily and we had a great time! I am so very proud of my little helper. My typical children do not come to me when it's chore time and offer to help...but Drew does!
Many thanks to Drew's proud mama, Blandon, PA, for her story.
Since beginning the RDI® Program one and a half years ago, we have seen some wonderful changes in Rob's abilities
to share emotions, understand others' facial expressions, and communicate his own feelings. One cute example is his fantastic ability to reference others for information. During a trip to the water park, Rob (now age 5) wanted to play in water spouts that several other children were standing over. Rather than just running over the spouts like he would have in years past, Rob paused and gazed curiously into each child's face to see if playing in their spouts was OK! How wonderful to see that he truly appreciates the value of referencing.
Jen Gerson, Head of the Start-up Committee,
RDI® Program Scholarship Fund.
Many thanks to Jen Gerson, for her story.
"With a better under-standing of autism core deficits, I was able to set reasonable expectations for Annie and make decisions based on that under-standing."
In Day One of Parent Training, everyone introduced themselves and described their child's diagnosis: PDD, autism, HFA, Asperger's Syndrome. Dr. Gutstein said to forget all of the different diagnoses. Kids on the spectrum all have the same deficits. It was hard to hear and understand as the parent of a very high functioning autistic child. But by the end of the week, we, for the first time, understood autism. All of the families, regardless of diagnosis and level of functioning, wanted and needed to work on the same things. Our child was rarely sharing experiences nor communicating with us and we would be starting at Stage 1, Function 1.
With a better understanding of autism core deficits, I was able to set reasonable expectations for Annie and make decisions based on that understanding. The first thing I did was to stop her small group speech therapy, which she did right after individual therapy. The group therapy always seemed like it was very forced for her and not leading to any genuine communication. I understood now that she was far from ready for that peer interaction. In fact, the time we were then able to spend slowly getting ready to leave and walking to the car proved more meaningful. I don't feel pressure to host play dates or go to events that are beyond her current capabilities. But I have the belief that she will get there someday.
There is clearly a different look on my daughter when she is sharing her experience. It is a slightly wider smile that comes with a special glint in her eyes. I will never forget the day that we met eyes and she just grinned at me for no reason at all. That sharing of nothing was the best sharing of all.
Many thanks to Sue K., Detroit, MI, for her story.
"Our lives were changed dramatically after I attended Dr. Gutstein's 2-day workhop ..."
Our son, Paul, was diagnosed at 22 months with ASD. Our lives naturally were changed drastically by this diagnosis and we have searched in vain for therapies to address his difficulties. We were not comfortable with the ABA approach, but did get involved with a speech therapist trained in VBA, and started him in a typical classroom setting with some special ed, speech and OT supports. He has made good progress, but I never felt completely satisfied that everything was being addressed. Then our lives were changed again dramatically after I attended Dr. Gutstein's 2-day workshop in Feb. 2004. There, I had several, as they say, "lightbulb" moments, realizing that in fact his "core deficits" were not being addressed. At last, there was someone dealing with what has been so significantly missing from all traditional therapies, and I thank my lucky stars it has come along now!
My son is now 4 years old - we started the RDI® Program in May of 2004, after linking up with a local RDI® Consultant. After our Relationship Development Assessment™, we began at Level 1, Stage 1 and we are now in Stage 3. We are so impressed with the significant changes we have seen with our son. He seeks us out so much more now to do things with him, sometimes so much so, I feel like he doesn't know what to do with himself when we can't be doing activities with him! His language is still nearly a year behind, but it is filled more with declarative type statements, such as comments, observations, etc.
One night we were reviewing a happy memory of a game of falling into beanbags together. Several times during the review, I stopped the tape to spotlight something in particular. At one point, Paul looked right at me and said, "We're having fun together".... and then a few moments later, he got really close to me as if to snuggle up, and then looked right into my eyes and with the sweetest voice, said, "I love you, Mommy" and hugged me. Honestly, I wish I had that on tape! It was so heartfelt and so touching .... I felt overwhelmed! I could feel what this memory meant to him. If I never did another day of RDI®, at least I have this now. Emotion sharing and truly experiencing things together!
But, of course we forge ahead with determination, as we believe this will make such a huge difference for the quality of his life. Thank you, Dr. Gutstein! I'll never be able to thank you enough!
Many thanks to Nancy R., Raleigh, NC, for her story.
"I never thought I'd see the day when he looked up from a book at me!"
Jacob (age 4) came home from school today with a library book that was a lot of fun, and tied in well with RDI. The title is "The Turn-around, Upside-down Alphabet book", and it's written by Lisa Campbell Ernst. Each page is a different block letter (in alphabetical order, which is the book's only drawback!) in a bright color on a block of a contrasting color. There is a phrase under the letter that says variations on "A becomes," then you turn the book a quarter turn to the right and it says "a bird's beak," another quarter turn (so upside down) and it says "a drippy ice cream cone," and the last quarter turn it says "a point of a wishing star." The letter's "alternate personalities" involve interpreting both the shape of the letter itself, and the negative space made of the background color.
As we went through the book, Jacob was pretty excited to be able to see the different configurations as I pointed them out, but the truly awesome part was his response when he saw what was being described without me having to point it out to him. When that happend he'd yell "oh wow, look!" and reference me to make sure I was seeing it too. Sometimes I said "I don't see it" (sometimes I didn't!), and he'd point to the part I should have been looking at and say "See? Right there!" then reference me again to make sure I was looking in the right place. It was also great productive uncertainty, as we paused before reading the description to see if we could guess what the letter had become.
I never thought I'd see the day when he looked up from a book at me! This was the perfect book to introduce some variety to one of his big interests/obsessions, the alphabet letters. And because it was fun (and probably because it was in a book!) he accepted it without the usual anxiety that trying to vary his static favorites typically induces.
Many thanks to Shelley W., CT, for her story.
"Criminy, it was rough in the beginning! ... But now I have real hope that we're going to make it."
I'm fresh back from the 4-day parent training in Houston, full of determination and new insight into my son (Charlie - 5 year's old today!).
I wanted to share my first attempt (post training) at RCR. [Regulation-Challenge-Regulation] I decided I was going to make a peanut butter sandwich with Charlie in the kitchen (in hindsight, MUCH too difficult!). I'm remembering Dr. Gutstein's words about not giving a child a choice, not framing it as being a helper, and setting limits. My limit was he had to stay in the kitchen. Well, he starts yelling and whining, saying "NO! I don't want to do this! I want to go in the room and play!", etc, so I just calmly said "no, we're going to stay in the kitchen for awhile"...(while also physically barring his exit!). Well, he got really mad and grabbed a piece of bread and threw it in the sink!
So I put a big surprised look on my face, charged over to the sink and pulled the bread out and slapped it back down on the table. He IMMEDIATELY started giggling, and ran back over, grabbed the bread and threw it in the sink again - then looked at me waiting for me to pull it out again. We went back and forth like this for several times, with him laughing away and me in mock outrage, and I even threw in a variation (forgot to bring the bread back from the sink) - so he grabbed the bread out of the sink, brought it to me, then snatched it and threw it back in the sink again - it was obvious he knew he had a role in this interaction, and if he wanted it to continue he had to do his part! Really cool!
Shortly after I threw in the variations, I ended things by giving him a hug, saying boy that was fun, and I made a sandwich myself out of the remaining unmangled piece of bread. But criminy, it was rough in the beginning! It really spotlighted (for me) that despite my son's vast repertoire of sentences and his considerable splinter abilities, he still really REALLY needs regulation!! And mommy really needs more practice too - but now I have real hope that we're going to make it.
[NOTE: This is a great example of "Pre-Master-Apprentice/guided participation" because Mom was not focused on the activity, but on her objectives, which were to practice setting limits (keeping her son in the room with her) and to give him an experience where he could feel what it is like to participate in a simple regulatory interaction, which she ended up doing beautifully. She realized almost immediately that the "sandwich" framework was much too complicated for her son's sense of competency, and was flexible and creative enough in the moment to almost instantaneously shift the activity, non-verbally, to reach her objectives. When her son reacted differently than she might have expected to her "sandwich invitation" she immediately appraised the situation and saw where she could meet her objectives with him, and she was able to engage in a co-regulatory pattern with him in which he had a role and could experience competence within it. In this getting-started scenario, Mom also learned more about her son's level of competence, realized where she should set the bar next time, and probably had some other insights about what sorts of frameworks would be workable for her son at his current stage of development. For more information about working with a child in the pre-apprenticeship stage, see this chat with Dr. Gutstein on 04/25/06.]
Many thanks to Cindy B, West Palm Beach, FL for her story.
"His ADOS score ... has gone from 20 in March 2005 ... to 8 in March 2006." (Part 2, March, 2006. See Part 1, below)
We wanted to let you know how Joe is getting on. As you know he was diagnosed with Autism and Severe learning Difficulties at age 3 years 5 months in July 2004. Our friends who have a son with Autism, quickly pointed us in the direction of RDI, and we attended a 4 day parent seminar in October 2004. We incorporated RDI as best we could into our lives but it wasn't until Joe had his first RDA with Sarah Honda, Certified Consultant, in March 2005 that we really started to gets to grips with it. Joe had just turned 4 years old. Since that first RDA Joe has done really well. He still only manages a few words but nonetheless is a really good little communicator. I am sure RDI is helping. He has mastered stage 1 (yippee!). As well as being a joy for its own sake, this means that he is much happier, more flexible, a better two way communicator, and more relaxed. We are definitely real people to him now, whereas before I don't think he understood what we were. He even plays a few simple games with his brother, Tom, and his cousins now. He has had 3 assessments with Sarah Honda our RDI Consultant in total, the last in March this year. His ADOS score (max 28 - very autistic; less than 6 'not autistic') has gone from 20 in March 2005, to 11 in October 2005, to 8 in March 2006. This reflects how we feel he is doing.
I think the initial diagnosis given him of 'Severe Learning Difficulties' is probably right. However with our support he is now so willing to stick with something he finds difficult, and can reference us for guidance, that he is steadily learning new things. Who knows what the future may bring? Basically Joe is great to be with. We had a lovely weekend just gone. Swimming as a family. Meal in a cafe afterwards. Joe perfectly content to sit with us and share the meal. Played chase and hide and seek with his cousins afterwards. For balance I should probably say that he can of course be a complete monkey at times and remains capable of going off into his own little world and completely ignoring us!
Today in his school book his teacher wrote "Wow! Joe has been a superstar today. During our counting session this morning he counted 1-5 with no help and found the corresponding number cards 1-5. At playtime he initiated a lovely game of chase with another child and so enjoyed sharing the fun of chasing and being chased." We think he is a superstar too.
Many thanks to Catherine and Nicholas, Shropshire, England, for their story.
"We are a much happier family." (Part 1, October, 2004)
Since the Parent Training (October, 2004), considering what went before and the profundity of Joe's problems, Joe has made some real progress. Of course, there are the usual provisos (we are far from out of the woods, it's a very long road ahead, Joe tends to forget what he has learnt unless constantly topped up, etc), but he is definitely developing the Stage 1 and 2 skills, and as a consequence is so much more relaxed and fun to be with. We are a much happier family.
This improvement over the three months (post Parent Training and pre-Relationship Development Assessment) is based on adopting the RDI lifestyle. By far and away the main technique we use is 'hesitation prior to the natural end point of an activity'. So really these are just moments, but they seem to have really helped. Joe will now, quite often, hesitate and reference as he is doing something to check out our response. The following is one of my favourite examples.
Joe is nearly four, 'non-verbal', with a diagnosis of 'Autism and severe learning disabilities'. He has never stacked blocks, used a shape sorter, or attempted the simplest jigsaw puzzle. Prior to the Parent Training, feeding Joe yoghurt consisted of shovelling it into his mouth as he squealed and flapped in front of the TV or bounced on his trampoline. Now he helps me lift up our folding table, sits on a chair, peels off the lid of the yoghurt himself, and uses a spoon to feed himself while Cath or I do chores around the kitchen or sit with him. Now this is the good bit. On several occasions Joe has referenced me, and made sure he has my full attention. He then smiles and quite deliberately turns the spoon the wrong way round and starts eating his yoghurt with the handle. At this point we both laugh. It's great. Joe invented this game himself. Not only is it great emotion sharing but considering his inability to use the most simple toys seems very subtle to me, and so has given me some hope about his general intelligence also. Thank you all again.
Many thanks to Catherine and Nicholas, Shropshire, England, for their story.
"The basic principles of RDI had Jesse (age 4, ASD) progressing at a rate that 2 years of ABA could not even touch."
In a month his eye contact was wonderful, and he started pointing to items and non verbally looking to us for the label. Before he never even cared about the world around him. It was like a light bulb went off in his little head after only a month of doing the RDI lifestyle. At the next team meeting we all sat around bewildered at his progress in that month. We were all hooked!
The following month Jesse started to seek out my face during play. He is so much happier, and so much more aware. He also developed this love of learning when it was lifestyle. Things I thought he would never do, he enjoyed. Learning in context compared to learning at a table, has made such a difference!
Just last week he said he very first word,“bah. This is a kid who said absolutely nothing! Now he says “bye,”, big,“mmmm.”This is because RDI has given him the prerequisite skills for starting language, and we are all thrilled! He now is happy to see me, will come up to me and hug me. His interaction with me is much more typical: coming up to me, right in my face and giving me a big smile. It's the best! He has also started to develop a sense of humor, because playing around like that is fun! We have only touched the surface of RDI, and have seen these incredible results. We look forward to learning more ...
Dave and Kathy D., Oaklyn, New Jersey
"I began to clear the table and my son came to help without any invitation!"
My son, Tom, (age 5) has been involved in the RDI Program for nearly one and a half years. He was extremely disconnected with family activities at the beginning. We did everything for him.
He progressed through Stage One and into Stage Two and we started master/apprentice about four months ago. I worked with my son to help clear the table, empty the dishwasher, empty the shopping cart at the store, and bring in the groceries. I am accustomed to my autistic son responding to prompts because of discrete trial exercises, but not doing things spontaneously. The other evening, I began to clear the table and my son came to help without any invitation! He saw me working and took my lead to help. He pitched right in to help even though I had started somewhat distractedly without inviting him to help. That is such a normal thing for a small child to do!
Our son's speech pathologist even questioned me about the accuracy of his diagnosis. She sees apraxia (speech delay), but too much spontaneous behavior for autism. Tom's training in RDI is making him more spontaneous.
Janet A., Plainfield, IL
"Once we did get the master-apprenticeship working well, we noticed a huge decrease in our stress level as a family."
Before we could work effectively on Stage 1, we had to establish a master-apprentice relationship where Cassian (age 5) would not break down every time we guided him to do something different from what he wanted to do. It took 3-4 months to get this down, and the progress was gradual. Once we did get the master-apprenticeship working well, we noticed a huge decrease in our stress level as a family. We no longer planned our lives according to how to keep Cassian from having a breakdown, and we could start to anticipate fun happening when we went out (albeit in small doses because we still expect less than with a neuro-typical child).
I found it was much better to do RDI in very short spurts, especially during Stage 1. Here are some Stage 1 Activities that we enjoy:
Lifestyle Funny Faces - I do this sort of modified peek-a-boo game a lot with Cassian. I used to have to make short gasping noises or squeaks to cue him to look, but he is more vigilant now and usually doesn't need them. Where ever I am, I look at him and make a funny face. As he has got better at looking, I have been raising the stakes by standing farther away, not giving vocal cues, etc. In the beginning it is also a good idea to do funny faces whenever the child looks at you, so he can learn that your face is something interesting to look at.
Silly Attention Getting Acts - This is a lot like Funny Faces because you can do it anywhere anytime (well, you may want to keep it at home if you are worried about what other adults think of you). I do something really unexpected, like pretend I am falling in slow motion down the stairs, pretend the pantry door is eating me, or act like I am slipping on ice in kitchen.
Sneezing Games - This is great for face-to-face reciprocal responding. I would pretend to sneeze, sometimes with more "Ahhhh Ahhhhh Ahhhhh" leading up to the sneeze. Varying the timing and quality of the sneeze creates productive uncertainty. Sometimes I get really gross and pretend to get covered with snot. Cassian thinks this is hilarious and usually insists on wiping us both off with an imaginary cloth!
Suzi and Tim P., Leesburg, VA
"Jacob was so proud of himself for being so helpful and having a REAL role in what was going on."
I finally GET Lifestyle RDI! I came home from the Boston 2-day with a commitment to just include Jacob (4 1/2 yrs old) in EVERYTHING I do all day long, and lo and behold, I seem to have managed to turn at least some component of everything that I do around here into an RDI activity, even if it's just simple regulation type stuff. (I was inspired by the videotape of the family scooping horse poop!) We had the most fantastic time grocery shopping last night–Jacob was so proud of himself for being so helpful and having a REAL role in what was going on, rather than some role I made up just to work on an RDI objective.
Lifestyle has been difficult for us up to this point. I think I was trying too hard to turn everything into something, and Jacob was very resistant to being involved with me. Now that I've decided to just give him REAL roles in the chores, etc, he's excited to be participating and is fast becoming a willing participant rather than a rag doll that can only say "I don't want to, I can't, it's too hard." So if I have to carry a bag of trash out, we carry it out together. If I have to sweep the kitchen, he holds the dust pan. If I have to empty the dishwasher, he hands me the cups and I put them on the shelf. If I have to clean out the cats' litter box, I scoop the litter and he pours it into the pan. If I have to fill a water dish, he turns the water on and off. Since we're working on Stage 2, I am spotlighting referencing when it would occur naturally in this sort of activity, and setting up situations (dropping back behind him, for instance) where he has to reference to see what's next, or how full the bowl is, etc.
We've had an AWESOME couple of days!! It may be taking 3 times as long to get things done, but he's a part of everything we do–no more leaving him to his own devices (i.e. stimming) while I run around getting stuff done as quickly as possible so I can get back to a planned activity with him.
Shelley W., CT
"Now I can look forward to Christmas again."
My son is now 4 years old - we started RDI in May of 2004, after linking up with a local RDI consultant. After our RDA, we began at Level 1 Stage 1 and we are now in Stage 3. We are so impressed with the significant changes we have seen with our son. He seeks us out so much more now to do things with him, sometimes so much so, I feel like he doesn't know what to do with himself when we can't be doing activities with him! His language is still nearly a year behind, but it is filled more with declarative type statements, such as comments, observations, etc. I will give a couple of examples of the types of changes we have seen:
The previous two Christmases (pre-RDI) were not much fun with Paul - he didn't care about gifts or opening them, or playing with anything. He could care less about what was going on while my older son opened gifts excitedly.
This past year, [about 7 months since starting RDI] he happily opened gifts, and after just opening something, he'd say something like, "Look, Grampa, I got a truck! Look, Daddy! A truck! (and he would hold it out, look to each person as he said this to them, and be sure to wait until he got a response of some sort from them) ...I love it!"
He actually played some with the toys given to him (didn't shy away from the fact it was "new" like he has in the past). Also, several times during the Christmas weekend, I'd hear him asking his grandparents, dad, brother, etc. "Will you play this (whatever game or toy it was at the time) with me?"
Now I can look forward to Christmas again, knowing my son will share his joy of getting new toys/surprises!
Nancy R., North Carolina
"Slow and steady–me, my husband and my son will win the race."
My 4 year, 10 months old autistic child had a lot of issues going on with him. He has some language but has never had the motivation to use his words. To him, his world is all about stimming, looking at ceilings, watching the light and shadows and his image in the mirror.
I attended the 2-day Parent Introductory Workshop and then got his RDA™ [Relationship Development Assessment™] and Treatment plan. He is in 'Stage 0' and my Consultant gave me a treatment plan which fit our lifestyle and his goals.
I started doing RDR activities with him almost 2 months ago now. Before this, he wouldn't want to walk with us outside, or within the room wall to wall. He would cry and stay on the ground and it was a big breakdown for him. After we started RDR activities with him, now he walks an entire block holding hands with us. I point to lot of fun things on the road like a Boat or a Motor Bike or a Bird. When we feel he may breakdown we use STOP THE ACTION. We sit on the sidewalk and wait it out till he is READY for more.
Also one small improvement is he started using some words after almost 1 year now, here and there throughout the day. Even if it's one word per day, we are happy with these tiny and yet important changes.
He started developing trust in me. He started eating a little better, while previously it was a battle to feed him and he would go days without eating. Now sometimes he comes to me and hugs mom and dad. We feel so happy as parents.
There is a lot to conquer yet as we are in 'Stage 0' but I am sure we will get there. Slow and steady–me, my husband and my son will win the race."
"RDI Mom"
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