Our guest author this week, Michelle VanderHeide, empathetically shares some insights and suggestions for parents struggling with a new diagnosis. 

Let's face it, hearing the word autism in relation to your child is hard. Knowing that this diagnosis was a possibility doesn't make it any easier to hear or understand! There's always a part of you that thinks, "There's a chance it will be something else, something simpler."

Autism comes with many questions, fears, smashed dreams and uncertainty of what the future will bring. In a society of quick answers, it's easy to jump on the internet and learn as much as possible with hopes that the magic cure exists. There are many programs, diets and fads claiming to have it all. Whom do you believe? What do you do? What's going to make all this go away? When you first get the diagnosis, there are a couple things to keep in mind:

Take a deep breath. Your family is still the same family, your child the same child. Rushing off to find the perfect program or school is not in your best interest. Once you've allowed yourself to grieve and experience your family as the same family it was before the diagnosis, then you can begin the search for the support that is right for your family.

No program has it all, and there is no cure. If you find a program that claims to offer a cure, beware. Autism is a neurological disability and your child is unique within that diagnosis. Your child will need support to work on the autism and any co-occurring conditions that exist. Therapists should look at your child individually and develop appropriate services according to your family and child's needs. Not every child with autism needs speech services or occupational therapy, despite what some might say. Although there is no cure, there are several things that can be done to make improvements and bring your child to the point that the autism is no longer a barrier to obtaining a good quality of life now and in the future.

Keep quality of life in mind. Your child with autism is a child first. Children need to have time to play, to be home and to relax. Running from therapy to therapy or throwing him/her into full-time programming will be hard on both your child and your family. Chances are your child will be more tired, disregulated and stressed when so many expectations are combined. Remember that more isn't always better!

Don't let the word autism define you or your child. What does that mean? Well if you invest your life in autism blogs, support groups, chat rooms, message boards, research studies, books and Facebook fan pages, then you have likely allowed autism to define you. Don't forget who you or your family were prior to the diagnosis. Reading some current studies or glancing through an occasional message board is fine. In fact, it can be helpful; but don't get lost in that. What does that mean for your child? Allow him/her to be a child and please don't introduce him/her as "this is my autistic child." S/he is a child first. "This is my son Jimmy, who happens to have autism."

Keep life simple. This is one of the best gifts you can give to your child. Children with autism require more processing time and often more time for regulation. Throwing your child into 5 different therapies may end up being more harmful than helpful. Simplifying life may give him/her the down time needed to cope better within our fast moving society. The most anxious kids with autism that I see are the ones who have been buried in programming and/or extracurricular activities. Simplicity means less stress and a greater ability to cope. What a gift!

Receiving an autism diagnosis doesn't have to be the end of your dreams. Allow yourself to grieve, be angry and hate the diagnosis; but when the fight is in you, fight! Then find a quality RDI® Program Certified Consultant to support you when you're ready.

About the Author: Michelle VanderHeide is an autism specialist with the Horizons Developmental Remediation Center.  She holds the prestigious title of Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) ® Program Certified Consultant.  With a background in social work, in-home supports and family-based therapy, Michelle is a highly sought-after consultant for families throughout the United States and abroad. You can contact Michelle at michelle@horizonsdrc.com or find out more about Horizons at http://www.horizonsdrc.com/