Preparing for the Holidays with an Autistic Child

by | Dec 10, 2015 | Family Life, Holidays

Most of us see the holiday season as a welcome excuse to break from the old routine, do lots of socializing, and give and receive presents. But the holidays can prove challenging for children and adults on the autism spectrum, who find change, crowds and surprises difficult to handle.

Many children with autism love Christmas but their social difficulties, sensitivities about touch, taste and noise, and untypical reactions to certain situations can get in the way of the joy of the holiday season. What should be a special time with loved ones can turn into a nightmare of inappropriate discipline, guilt, and disappointment.

But there are some strategies you can implement to help make holiday gatherings more manageable and more enjoyable for your family!

Strategies to Help Your Autistic Child Through the Holidays

Prepare Early

Christmas preparations should start for the family in late November to get children ready for changes at home. Give kids a countdown of ā€˜sleepsā€™ before the decorations go up and then again before they come down. A visual calendar can hang in their bedroom and every nightstand and count the sleeps until Christmas Day. The calendar can be a sheet of paper with a square representing each day. All other squares are blank apart from Christmas Day, which has present-bedecked stickers on it.

All children are different, so what works for one may not suit another. Some may benefit from having more events marked on their visual calendar, such as when the school holidays begin and end, when they can expect visitors and so on. Finding out when preparation will begin at your childā€™s school and then starting your family Christmas at home at the same time is another suggestion.

One Christmas inevitability for children is the annual school performance. If your childā€™s school, church or other community organization is putting together a holiday performance and you find that this upsets your child too much, ask for them to be exempt from the performance. You may also want to try introducing the play and costumes slowly to your child and get him excited about being in a performance. Over time they might come to really enjoy it.

Managing Christmas Day

Christmas morning in particular can be an overwhelming time for kids with autism. You can help them out by:

  • Putting batteries in toys in advance so that they can be played with straight away
  • Introducing one toy at a time
  • Letting friends and relatives know what your child would like for Christmas. Many children with autism arenā€™t good at faking delight if they get an unwanted gift.
  • Giving your child some quiet time with an activity at key moments for your other children, such as when they are opening presents. Let your child play on the computer or watch a favorite DVD in a Christmas-free zone at these times
  • Making sure that the Christmas meal is ready at a prearranged time.

Managing the Unexpected

If you want to take your children to see Santa Claus or if you think you may encounter a man dressed as Santa Claus (for example, if you are attending a family-friendly Christmas party or event), it may be wise to prepare your child by showing them a photo of a man dressed in a Santa suit. For many children, particularly those on the spectrum, their first sight of Santa is overwhelming.

When putting up decorations it is important to involve your child, even if they do not want to put them up themselves. You can do this by putting up the decorations within eye-shot or by making them aware it is happening. Coming home to find a tree in the middle of the room can be a bit of a shock!

We hope these tips can ease the hustle and bustle of Christmas a little bit in your life this holiday season. And remember the very best present you can give is to take that child ā€“ and that toy ā€“ outside, where you can have crazy fun togetherā€¦out of earshot of the rest of the family.

Tips for Managing Holiday Parties

For most people, the holiday season involves attending a party (or throwing your own). When you have a child with autism, there are a couple of extra concerns you must prepare for before you throw or attend a party as a family.

Dr. Sarah Wayland, a certified RDI consultant and special needs navigator, has put together some tips for making it through holiday parties with your child.

Make a Social Story

Your family can create a social story for the event together. This simply means talking about who will be there, what you will do there, what the table seating will be like, what foods will be served, and how to handle various social situations (like ā€œWhat if you donā€™t like the food?ā€ or ā€œHow do you greet each person?ā€ or ā€œHow much interaction with ā€˜strangersā€™ is required?ā€).

This will ensure your child is prepared for whatā€™s going to happen! They will feel less anxiety leading up to the event.

Have a Quiet Room Available

If youā€™re attending a party at someone elseā€™s house, talk to the host about the possibility of using a ā€œquiet roomā€ where your kid can go hang out if they get overwhelmed. If itā€™s at your house, make sure thereā€™s a quiet room available.

Plan for a Potential Early Exit

If youā€™re attending a party at someone elseā€™s house, plan for the possibility of an early exit. If your kids are losing it, one parent may have to take them away to allow them to regroup and recover. Plan for who will cover that duty ahead of time.

Ask Your Child To Be Flexible – And You Be Flexible, Too!

For example, if you have a picky eater who will only eat one food, donā€™t expect them to suddenly decide that unfamiliar food is yummy just because itā€™s the holiday and it will make Aunt Jeannie happy if they eat it. Make sure there is something your child can eat, and donā€™t be picky about what they eat during the big holiday meal.

The focus should be on family and being together, not on whether your child is eating a balanced diet and trying new things. You can save those interactions for another time when itā€™s just you and your kids, and no audience of people who might not understand.

Make Sure Theyā€™re Entertained

If you are going to be visiting with other adults and not able to attend to your kidsā€™ needs, make sure they have something to do that will entertain them when you are not available. Queue up a movie for them to watch, get them to help you in the kitchen, or let them bring a book to read so they can entertain themselves.

Talk to your kids ahead of time about what you will be doing, and what they can do.

The key to a successful holiday is for you to be flexible and clearly communicate structure and expectations. By helping your child feel comfortable, you will be building positive memories about gatherings with family!

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