In RDI, we really believe in parents and we also believe that there is a developmental structure inherent in the way children are raised worldwide. And that just because that’s difficult for parents who have a child on the spectrum, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
This idea of independence is one that we sometimes skirt because we get caught up in the daily routine of the things that we’re teaching or the things that we’re doing, or I think we get caught up in avoiding it because we worry about it so much. We’re afraid to face it.
I think the important thing for anybody who is either giving the diagnosis or working with a newly diagnosed family is to help parents know that there’s a beginning point, and that that beginning point is almost always the same
Dr. Sheely discusses the value of parents in developing a child’s sense of self.
Because your role has become the role of a compensator and not a guide, you start compensating for more and more things and sometimes children grow past the need for compensation.
They doubt their own inside voice and they doubt their own competence. They don’t doubt their competence with their other children, but autism is a wedge, it’s like a wedge with glue, and it drives families apart.