Family mapping

by | Sep 16, 2014 | Community Blog

By: Esther Tell

This week I decided to thumb through some of the older RDIConnect books and came across an exercise that I wanted to share with you from the book Relationship Development Intervention with Children, Adolescents and Adults.

The exercise is titled “family maps” and is a  lesson on learning to evaluate the effect of your actions on your family members. Included in the activity is an explanation of the importance of evaluating your actions and a short quiz. I started to read the quiz and realized that I hardly ever take an introspective look at myself and how my actions affect those around me. I am reminded that the essence of RDI is to make us more successful humans, and the core learning can be applied to anyone. I want to share with you the quiz and encourage you to be mindful of your position in your own family dynamic.

This quiz is based on mother child relations, but of course you can substitute mother for any family member in your life.

  1. What are three things that your mother would enjoy doing with you on a regular basis?
  1. What are three things that your mother has done for you that most mothers might not do for their children?
  1. List the interests that you share with your mother
  1. What are five things that you can do that can hurt your mothers feelings
  1. List three things that really irritate your mother
  1. What are three things that you could do to help your mother
  1. What could you do to surprise your mother if she is feeling down
  1. How many times a week do you act in some way that makes your mother angry.
  1. How often do you do something that makes your mom sad?

How often does your mom feel that you act like you care about her?

With my busy life, I don’t often take time to reflect on what should be one of the most important things in my life, my relationship with my family.  I think this quiz could be an amazing conversation starter for an intimate reflection with a loved one.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this quiz or how you answered these questions in the comments section.


  1. Rachelle Sheely

    Anybody know who is in the photo?

  2. Esther

    have no idea

  3. Claudia Andreessen

    OH MY GOSH!!!! This is a gorgeous picture of the two of you. Priceless!! Definitely a framer

  4. Allan Katz

    Thanks for sharing these questions. I like to ask kids what makes them happy, sad, angry etc and what makes their family members ….. happy ..etc. or what do you think your mom thinks about xyz, identifying mom’s concerns or perspectives on different issues. Empathy and perspective taking is the basis to relationships. I also like to see the relationship in terms of the family mission or mission statement. Your questions focus on these issues.

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