Executive function may come easily to some, but for others, staying on top of day-to-day tasks and activities is a constant struggle.
Autistic adults living alone have a particularly difficult time, from dealing with dishes collecting in the kitchen sink to putting off making important appointments.
In this article, we’ll discuss how to deal with executive dysfunction as an autistic adult living alone, helping you feel more in control and independent in your day-to-day activities.
What is executive dysfunction?
Executive dysfunction isn’t about procrastination or laziness; it’s an ongoing difficulty planning, organizing, or staying on top of tasks caused by a variety of factors like traumatic brain injury, certain mental health conditions, ADHD, and autism.
Some executive dysfunction symptoms include:
- Struggling to initiate tasks: Difficulty starting something, even if it’s urgent, like a work project that’s due or sitting down to pay bills.
- Organizing your home: Struggling to keep up with basic home tasks like cleaning and cooking without feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
- Time management: Losing track of time on a task that should only take 5-10 minutes, or struggling to structure or manage your time throughout the day.
- Prioritizing tasks: Difficulty prioritizing simple or complex tasks at home or at work.
These are common struggles for autistic adults, and the stress and anxiety they cause can create a vicious cycle, worsening executive function and making it more difficult to get things done. Luckily, there are strategies you can learn to help you improve executive function and regain structure in your life.
Living alone with executive dysfunction
Dealing with executive dysfunction is one thing, but dealing with it as an autistic adult living alone presents additional challenges.
- No accountability: Without external motivation or support, like a roommate or family member to hold you accountable or remind you of important tasks, it can be more difficult to stay on top of daily needs and activities.
- Lack of routine: From cleaning to meal times to a healthy sleep schedule, autistic adults with executive dysfunction can struggle to set and maintain a routine, causing more tasks to remain incomplete.
- Emotional toll: Autistic adults dealing with executive dysfunction tend to experience negative mental effects like stress, anxiety, guilt, or even shame about their struggles.
If you’ve noticed these signs in yourself, consider seeking an assessment from a healthcare provider. The Comprehensive Executive Function Inventory (CEFI) is used to evaluate cognitive functioning in terms of planning, organization, and impulse control.
Like many conditions, executive function and dysfunction exist on a scale. Understanding the executive functioning scale is a key step in finding effective strategies to treat executive dysfunction.
Strategies for dealing with executive dysfunction
When coping with executive dysfunction, it’s important to remember that what works for one person won’t always work for another. The key is to find what works for you. Here are some of the ways you can improve your executive function skills:
Use technology
Using technology as a tool for task management can ease some of the mental burden of trying to remember to do everything yourself. Set up daily reminders on your phone, or if you have a smart home device like Alexa or Google Assistant, you can set it up to automate certain tasks, like turning on the heating or lights.
Visual reminders
For some autistic adults, visual reminders work much better than setting reminders on phones. Using visual aids like “first, then” boards, visual schedules, sticky notes, or medication organizers can help.
Set timers or alarms
If time management is one of your biggest struggles when it comes to completing tasks, start by setting aside a block of time to complete one task. If you’ve got dishes piling up in the sink, set a timer for 5 minutes and wash up until the time is up or you’ve finished the task.
Knowing you’ll only need to spend the next 5 minutes (or 10 or 20 etc.) makes each task a lot less daunting. And often, once you get started, it’s much easier to see the task through to the end, even if it takes a little longer than the timer you set.
Create a routine
Establishing a daily or weekly routine can help you manage day-to-day tasks and activities in a way that works for you, minimizing the stress of not knowing what to do when, or where to start. Consider your sleep schedule, regular meal times, and other daily tasks and responsibilities, and arrange them in a way that works for you.
You might prefer to tidy in the evening so you start your day with a clean space. Or you might like to break a large task down into smaller, more manageable steps throughout the day instead of taking it on all at once. Use a daily planner, either digital or hand-written, to help you lay out your routine and follow it step by step.
Emotional regulation
If you notice yourself becoming overstimulated or feeling overwhelmed with the task at hand, take a moment to recenter and regain your sense of calm. Take a short break and practise deep breathing, stimming, or mindfulness to regulate your emotions and reset your focus.
Body doubling
Body doubling is when you work alongside someone else, like a friend or family member, either in person or virtually. This is a great technique for dealing with executive dysfunction if it’s available to you, helping you stay present and focused while getting things done. Use online tools like Focusmate to connect with someone who’ll hold you accountable.
Support networks
Dealing with emotional dysfunction can be stressful, but it’s not uncommon. Connecting with other autistic adults, either in person or online, can help. Look for local support groups or workshops, or join online forums on Discord or Reddit (like this subreddit on executive dysfunction!), where you can share experiences and tips with other autistic adults living alone.
Creating systems that work for you can reduce stress, improve focus, build healthy habits, and boost your overall well-being. Every day is a learning curve, and with time, you’ll find a method that works for you.
How RDI® Can Help
Executive dysfunction is more than a list of symptoms; it reflects the deeper challenges that arise when developmental gaps make it difficult to manage the unpredictable, often overwhelming demands of everyday life. This is where Relationship Development Intervention (RDI®) offers something different.
Rather than focusing on task completion alone, RDI® supports the growth of Dynamic Intelligence; the flexible thinking, emotional awareness, and adaptive problem-solving that make independence possible. For autistic teens and adults who feel like they are navigating life with pieces missing, this approach offers more than strategies. It offers a path toward understanding oneself, strengthening self-regulation, and building meaningful, resilient connections in an unpredictable world.
If you are struggling with executive function, know that the goal is not to fix who you are, but to support your development in a way that helps you thrive. RDI® can help you move beyond coping and toward truly living.
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