It is completely understandable to ask this question. Many parents want to move quickly, protect their budget, and do as much as possible at home.
RDI® is a parent-led approach, so it is natural to wonder if you can learn it yourself and get started.
In our experience, families make the fastest, safest progress when they begin with a certified consultant who helps establish the right starting point and pace.
As Dr. Sheely often says, our consultants are trained to work themselves out of a job, not into a job. The aim is for you to become your child’s trusted guide, with the consultant mentoring you until you no longer need us.
Why RDI® is not a DIY curriculum
RDI® is not a set of activities to download or a checklist to complete. It is a developmental framework for rebuilding the foundations that support connection, flexible thinking, and real-world problem solving.
That rebuilding happens inside a guiding relationship. To be effective, the work must begin at your child’s true starting point, use just-right challenges, and move at a pace that preserves motivation and emotional safety. Those decisions are hard to make from inside the day-to-day intensity of family life. An outside perspective prevents common missteps:
- Starting at the wrong level, which produces resistance or passivity
- Moving too quickly and triggering dysregulation
- Focusing on performance or compliance rather than shared understanding
- Missing subtle signs of engagement that should be reinforced
- Using supports that never fade, so skills do not generalize
A consultant brings developmental expertise, a calm third-party view, and a method for helping parents notice the things that are easy to miss in the moment.
What an RDI® consultant actually does
Think of the consultant as a mentor for you, not a substitute for your child. The work centers on you and your everyday life together.
Assessment and starting point
You will begin with a thorough look at strengths, vulnerabilities, co-occurring issues, and family routines. The aim is to find the first doable step that re-opens curiosity and connection. Parents often tell us this alone changes the tone at home. (learn more about the RDA here)
Planning inside daily life
Rather than adding hours of “therapy homework,” you will integrate objectives into meals, walks, chores, play, errands, and downtime. The consultant helps you shape those moments so they become safe, interesting opportunities for growth.
Video feedback and reflection
Short home videos become the engine of learning. Together you will slow down, notice what worked, and choose one small adjustment for next time. Most families say this is where their confidence takes off.
Just-right challenge and pacing
Your consultant will help you calibrate uncertainty, simplify environments, and lengthen wait time so your child can think, try, and recover without pressure. This protects motivation and builds resilience.
Fading supports
As you and your child stabilize, scaffolds are removed on purpose. The aim is independence, not dependence on prompts or visuals.
A partner for transitions
School changes, new teachers, travel, or medical events often require temporary recalibration. Having a partner who already knows your family prevents backsliding.
A phrase we use often is that good consultants “work themselves out of a job.” Their success is your growing autonomy.
“We tried to do it ourselves. What went wrong?”
When families attempt a self-start, the challenges they report are strikingly similar:
- We could not agree on where to begin. One parent wanted harder goals, the other saw dysregulation.
- Everything became a task. Our child did the steps, but nothing carried over to real life.
- We felt rejected. Without a plan for co-regulation, oRDI®nary moments became power struggles.
- We lost momentum. Without feedback, we could not tell if we were on track and stopped filming or adjusting.
None of this means you failed. It means you tried to carry the work and the supervision role at the same time. Most parents find that even a few months of guided practice changes the arc completely.
“We are coming from ABA. Will a consultant still be necessary?”
Many families arrive after good intentions with behavior programs that emphasized compliance. RDI® will ask you to shift from managing behavior to guiding development. That change sounds simple and feels very different in practice. A consultant helps you:
- Replace question-pressure with experience-sharing language
- Increase wait time and mutual referencing
- Use uncertainty as a cue for thinking rather than a threat to avoid
- Measure success by engagement and initiative, not by speed or the number of correct answers
This shift protects the relationship and unlocks flexible learning. It is much easier to learn with a mentor beside you.
Want more information on the guiding relationship? Check out this helpful graphic.
“Money is tight. What is a realistic path?”
If budget is a concern, consider a phased plan that still protects quality:
1. Front-load guidance
Begin with a full assessment and six to eight weeks of close support. Learn the core routines of filming, reflecting, and adjusting. Establish two or three daily activities that reliably produce connection and calm.
2. Step down intentionally
Move to biweekly sessions for a period, then monthly check-ins. Use the RDI® Learning Community to study between sessions and bring targeted questions to your consultant.
3. Reassess at transitions
Schedule a brief refresher when school changes, new demands arise, or progress stalls. Small tune-ups prevent costly resets.
Many families discover that early guidance saves money by preventing dead ends and by accelerating the return of calm, enjoyment, and competence at home.
How to recognize a good fit
Whether local or online, look for a consultant who:
- Listens first and reflects your values and culture back to you
- Explains the plan in plain language you can use tomorrow
- Reviews home video with you and invites your observations
- Celebrates small indicators of thinking and initiative
- Sets clear goals for fading supports and increasing independence
You should feel heard, respected, and more hopeful after the first meetings.
What you can expect to change
With guided RDI® work, families commonly report:
- Less urgency and more space to think together
- Fewer battles over tasks and more shared moments of discovery
- A child who initiates, references, and recovers more quickly after challenges
- Parents who feel confident again in the role they always wanted to play
Perhaps most importantly, you regain the sense that your everyday life is the right place for growth.
A note to parents just starting out
If you are early in your journey or considering a change from a previous program, you do not need to have everything figured out. Bring your questions. Bring two short videos from ordinary life. We will look together for the next workable step. From there, momentum builds.
So, can you implement RDI® on your own?
You will implement with your child every day, and you will implement on your own more and more as you grow confident. But at the beginning, and again during major transitions, working with a certified consultant is the most reliable way to protect the relationship, set the right pace, and build lasting foundations. The consultant mentors you. You mentor your child. That is the partnership that changes trajectories.
Ready to talk through what this could look like for your family?
If you would like help finding your first step or want to understand how a phased plan could fit your budget, we can meet and outline a path that respects your goals and your daily life. Connect with a certified RDI® consultant.
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