IEP Goals through an RDI® Lens

“Show me what you can do” is a familiar refrain in schools. We test, tally, and move a child along when the numbers are satisfactory. Yet the children who keep us awake at night are often the ones who can “do” on Tuesday morning and cannot do at all on Thursday afternoon. The product appears, then disappears. What is missing is not effort. What is missing is a plan that treats development as a guided, relational process rather than a list of isolated outcomes.

In Relationship Development Intervention® (RDI®), we describe growth as an apprenticeship. Competence emerges when a more experienced mind shares lived experience, frames challenges, calibrates support, and then fades so the learner takes increasing responsibility. If that is true, an Individualized Education Program that measures the child alone is already incomplete. The guide and apprentice form a unit. An IEP must describe how that unit will function in real classrooms with real pressures and competing demands.

What follows is a practical, research-aware and field-tested way to translate an RDI® lens into IEP structures. It is meant for school psychologists, special educators, SLPs, OTs, counselors, and administrators who want goals that hold up on Thursday afternoon.

From Product to Process: Why Dyadic Goals Belong in the IEP

Traditional goals focus on the child’s behavior as a product. Count the answers. Record the frequency. Certify mastery. Useful, but not sufficient. Children who struggle in dynamic contexts need something different. They need schools to describe the guiding process that makes learning possible in the first place.

Two shifts are essential.

1. State before skill. Regulation and co-regulation precede instruction. A nervous system that is braced for threat cannot integrate new learning. Goals that presume regulation without building it will remain brittle.
2. Dyad before individual. The quality of guidance predicts the quality of learning. If we never specify how the adult will frame uncertainty, set the edge of challenge, adjust wait time, and fade scaffolds, we are leaving out the mechanism that produces competence.

The implication is simple. Every child objective should be paired with a guiding objective that defines the adult’s level and type of support, with clear criteria for decreasing that support across the year.

A Scaffold Scale You Can Use Tomorrow

Teams need shared language to describe support. Below is a 0–4 scaffold scale adapted for school use. It quantifies the process without reducing it to scripts.

• N — Not started. The dyad is not yet working on this objective.
• 1 — Full support. Continuous framing, modeling, and set-up are required. The child sustains the role less than 60 percent of the interval without prompts.
• 2 — Moderate support. Intermittent framing and prompts. Independent sustainment reaches 60–75 percent.
• 3 — Minimal support. Brief set-ups and occasional spotlighting. Independent sustainment reaches 75–90 percent.
• 4 — No support. The child sustains the role 90–100 percent without adult scaffolding in the setting where the skill was taught.
• M — Mastered and generalized. The child initiates and sustains in varied partners, settings, and demands.

This scale anchors the adult’s task. It also sets a path for fading. An IEP team can now ask, “What precisely will move us from 2 to 3 in this classroom with these peers and this noise level, and how will we know?”

What We Measure Changes What We See

RDI® organizes development with terms that school teams quickly recognize when they see them in practice.

• Foundations. Pre-requisites that are not unique to autism, yet necessary. Example: the pacing capacity to slow action so that thinking can catch up.
• Discoveries. First encounters with a new way of coordinating mind and world. Novel, fragile, and exciting.
• Elaborations. Expansion into real-world function. More partners. More settings. Longer duration. Less adult help.
• Milestones. Clear improvements in quality of life and real independence. A friend found. A daily routine owned. A teacher reports, “He can recover now.”

IEPs that only capture milestones will miss the work that makes milestones possible. Documenting discoveries and elaborations lets a school show growth that parents actually feel while the larger capacities are forming.

Regulation and Co-Regulation: The Entry Point

We begin with regulation because state is the gatekeeper. The best strategies fail if a body is running hot or shut down. For schools, regulation goals are easy to accept when they are specific.

Child objective.
Across two non-demanding classroom routines, the student maintains a calm and organized state for 8 minutes, twice per day, with minimal adult support, as shown by steady breathing, available face, and the ability to pause without distress.

Guiding objective.
During those routines, the adult reduces verbal load, uses side-by-side positioning, and lengthens wait time to 10 seconds before adding new information in 4 of 5 opportunities. Adult scaffolding decreases from moderate to minimal per the scaffold scale by the end of the second grading period.

Notice what is measured. Not compliance. Not a “quiet body.” We measure the adult’s contribution to state stabilization and the child’s usable availability.

Apprenticeship in Action: Nonverbal Before Verbal

Professionals often report that they can teach vocabulary and even turn-taking, yet their students still miss the moment. The gap is nonverbal coordination. In RDI® we quiet words so that the broader channels can reopen.

Child objective.
In a shared activity with a teacher or aide, the student references adult face or gesture to calibrate action during three naturally occurring moments of mild uncertainty, across three sessions per week, with minimal support.

Guiding objective.
The adult models deliberate pacing, signals uncertainty with simple gestures and facial shifts, and withholds directive prompts for at least 8 seconds in 4 of 5 opportunities. Adult moves from moderate to minimal support by the end of the semester.

Here, progress is the student’s use of reference under uncertainty, not the number of scripted exchanges. Process first. Words can return with meaning once coordination is in place.

MindGuiding: Shifting Agency to the Mental World

As co-regulation stabilizes, responsibility migrates from the adult’s body to the student’s mind. We call this MindGuiding. We begin to insert simple mental elements into physical activity frames, and we attribute success to mental work.

Child objective.
Given a two-step classroom problem with more than one acceptable solution, the student proposes at least one option and then selects a preferred strategy in 3 of 5 trials, with moderate support. By spring, the student explains “why this might work” in 2 of 5 trials, with minimal support.

Guiding objective.
The adult shares a short internal dialogue when stuck, models option generation, and spotlights the student’s idea as the driver of action with language such as “You had an idea” or “That was your plan.” Scaffolding fades from moderate to minimal by the third quarter.

School teams understand this quickly when they feel it in the room. We position the student not as a performer of adult directions, but as a thinker whose ideas can be used to organize action.

Girls, Masking, and Invisible Anxiety

Many autistic girls mask. They appear fine until the day ends and home absorbs the cost. An RDI® lens helps teams see beneath the surface. The IEP must account for subtle signs and provide discreet pathways to self-advocacy.

Awareness and detection. Teachers document individualized micro-signals of overload for a given student. Nail-flicking, hair twisting, gaze hardening, withdrawal from low-stakes tasks. Teams treat these as state indicators rather than misbehavior.

Access to regulation. Each student has a discreet exit plan and predictable havens. Permission is embedded, not negotiated in the moment.

Communication options. Younger students can use signals or cards. Older students may email or message the teacher or counselor directly. Build toward self-advocacy in ways that protect dignity.

IEP example.

• Child objective: When early signs of overload appear, the student initiates one pre-taught regulation option in 3 of 4 opportunities with minimal adult support.
• Guiding objective: The adult checks in discreetly at two predictable times daily and responds to signals by honoring the plan without public discussion in 4 of 5 opportunities. Support fades toward student-led initiation by the final quarter. 

The point is not to reward escape from learning. The point is to protect a learning body so that instruction has a place to land.

Writing Objectives that Schools Can Implement

Teams sometimes ask for a list of strategies. Lists help. Still, the mindset matters more. Below are structures that appear again and again in effective IEPs, each tied to a guiding partner and a plan to fade.

1) Wait Time and Indirect Prompting

• Child objective: In classroom routines, the student begins problem solving within 10 seconds on 3 of 5 opportunities given nonverbal spotlighting rather than directive prompts.
• Guiding objective: The adult uses the “30 second rule,” privileges gesture over instruction, and avoids step-by-step directing in 4 of 5 opportunities. Move from moderate to minimal support by midyear.

2) Nonverbal Communication Load

• Child objective: The student responds to adult gesture or posture shifts to adjust timing or intensity in a shared task across two settings with minimal support.
• Guiding objective: The adult keeps verbal input brief and models meaning with face, hands, and stance, then adds a short phrase to map intent.

3) Episodic Memory for Competence

• Child objective: The student co-constructs a one-sentence story of a shared success immediately after the activity in 3 of 4 opportunities, with moderate support.
• Guiding objective: The adult captures one photo per day of a small success, reviews it with the student, and attributes success to the student’s idea or adjustment. By spring, the adult prompts the student to choose and narrate without adult suggestion in 2 of 4 opportunities.

4) Classroom Sensory Demands

• Child objective: In a typical auditory environment, the student maintains available engagement for 6 minutes using one self-selected regulatory support, with minimal adult scaffolding.
• Guiding objective: The adult previews noise events, builds short micro-breaks into transitions, and honors a discreet regulation plan while reducing adult initiation of supports over time.

5) Peer Coordination

• Child objective: With a peer and light adult facilitation, the student sustains a rhythmic back-and-forth action for 4 minutes, twice weekly, with minimal support.
• Guiding objective: The adult engineers complementary roles, shifts to side-by-side positioning, and spotlights joint timing rather than speed or accuracy.

6) Progression Across Contexts

• Child objective: Across classroom, playground, and specials, the student transfers a learned regulation routine in 2 of 3 settings, with minimal support.
• Guiding objective: The adult team uses a common cue and the same first step in each setting, then fades adult initiation while increasing peer cues where feasible.

Dynamic Assessment and Reflective Teaching

Static testing tells us what a child did last week. Dynamic assessment tells us how a child changes today when guidance changes. RDI® borrows from this tradition by asking teams to study responsiveness. When an adult shifts pacing, uncertainty, or wait time, does the student’s thinking become available?

Reflective teaching translates these observations into classroom practice.

• Side-by-side stance. Teachers work beside students during challenge to communicate we are a team. Authority is not abandoned. It is used to create safety for thinking.
• Sharing internal dialogue. A teacher wonders aloud at the edge of a problem, briefly and sincerely. “I always get stuck here. What might we try first?” The invitation is for collaboration, not performance.
• Taking a naïve position. The adult allows the student to instruct or correct when the student holds usable knowledge. This elevates agency through teaching.
• Elaborating and spotlighting. The adult reflects back the student’s strategy and labels it in plain language. “So your plan was to try the shorter line first. That was a good idea.”

IEPs can formalize these moves without turning classrooms into scripts. Teams can write guiding objectives that name a stance and ask for consistency across periods. Fidelity to stance is often the difference between brittle progress and growth that generalizes.

Building Agency: From Physical to Mental

The end of guidance is agency. We are not training students to please adults. We are helping students become people who can use their minds to organize themselves in a dynamic world. That migration can be written into IEPs.

Phase 1. External coordination. Calm bodies, shared timing, safe uncertainty.

Phase 2. Shared problem solving. Small choices, low-stakes planning, simple justifications.

Phase 3. Internalized mental work. Idea generation, option comparison, reflective self-talk before action.

Examples of late-year agency goals:

• Child objective: Before beginning a two-part task, the student previews aloud one potential obstacle and one plan to address it in 2 of 4 opportunities, with minimal adult support.
• Guiding objective: The adult prompts preview with a single cue, models brief self-talk when needed, and attributes success to the student’s thinking in 4 of 5 opportunities. Fading continues with the goal of student-initiated preview by May.
• Child objective: When a plan fails, the student initiates a simple repair within 15 seconds on 2 of 3 opportunities, with minimal support.
• Guiding objective: The adult normalizes failure, prevents over-prompting, and spotlights recovery as competence. Adult support moves from minimal to observation only by spring. 

When Schools Ask, “Where Are the Academics?”

An RDI® lens does not replace academics. It prepares the brain to use them. The same principles apply in literacy, numeracy, science, and social studies.

• Reading is not only decoding. It is regulating pace, tracking context, and inferring intent.
• Math is not only facts. It is steady thinking under uncertainty, trying an approach, and reviewing outcomes.
• Science is not only answers. It is inquiry, revision, and the tolerance for not knowing.

IEPs can name this explicitly. “Means follow functions. The student will be introduced to method after purpose is understood.” Teachers then plan discovery and elaboration cycles that reward thinking, not speed alone.

Evaluation That Respects Development

Progress monitoring should include:

• State availability indices. Frequency and duration of calm, organized engagement in live routines.
• Referencing under uncertainty. Spontaneous glance, gesture reading, prosodic matching when the next step is unclear.
• Recovery markers. Latency from setback to workable next step.
• Transfer and generalization. Use of a routine or mental habit in new partners and settings with less adult support.
• Parent report of quality of life. Less evening collapse, more stories of school competence, more willingness to return tomorrow.

These measures align with what families actually notice while still satisfying institutional needs.

A Short Case Sketch

A second grader reads above grade level, follows directions in small groups, and melts at transitions. Her teachers describe “perfectionism” and “mystery shutdowns.” At home she unravels after school. She is bright, verbal, and anxious. She is also masking.

The IEP pairs regulation and agency from day one.

• Restore co-regulation during transitions with brief, predictable side-by-side walks and a discreet signal for quiet space.
• Reduce teacher verbiage. Increase gesture and pacing.
• Build one daily moment of competence that is photographed and narrated as her story, not the teacher’s.
• Introduce option generation in science centers with a naïve teacher stance that lets her instruct.
• Fade adult initiation. Increase peer cues where safe.
• Monitor recovery time after small failures as a primary outcome.

Six weeks later, she does not love fire drills, but she recovers. She tells the class “my idea” during a materials challenge. The reading level has not changed. Her use of reading has.

Practical Tips for Teams

• Write fewer, better goals. Choose the two or three dynamics that will unlock many rooms.
• Pair every child objective with a guiding objective. Name the scaffold level and the fade path.
• State the stance. Side-by-side, internal dialogue sharing, longer wait time, fewer directives.
• Protect regulation. Embed discreet exits and havens.
• Honor culture. “Parent” may include grandparents and extended family. Bring them into planning where appropriate.
• Teach in manageable chunks. Feed the school a few process shifts and let them feel the change before layering more.
• Collect evidence families feel. Short videos, recovery latencies, spontaneous referencing counts, evening debriefs.

A Brief Goal Bank to Spark Drafting

Use and adapt. Replace brackets with your student’s specifics and set scaffold levels with the scale above.

1. Co-regulation under mild uncertainty
   Child: During a preferred hands-on activity, [Student] references adult face or gesture to calibrate action at three naturally arising junctures in 8 minutes, with minimal support.
   Guide: Adult models deliberate pacing, signals uncertainty nonverbally, and waits 8–10 seconds before re-framing. Fade support from moderate to minimal by Q2.
2. Wait time and indirect prompting
   Child: In morning routines, [Student] initiates the next step within 10 seconds on 3 of 5 opportunities given a single nonverbal cue, with minimal support.
   Guide: Adult uses gesture or object placement rather than directives, then remains quiet. Move from moderate to minimal support by midyear.
3. Episodic memory of competence
   Child: After a shared success, [Student] co-constructs a one-sentence story that attributes success to a choice or idea in 3 of 4 opportunities, with moderate support.
   Guide: Adult captures a photo once daily, reviews, and spotlights the student’s idea. Fade to student selection and narration by Q3.
4. Masking-aware regulation
   Child: When early signs of overload appear, [Student] uses a discreet regulation option within 30 seconds on 3 of 4 opportunities, with minimal support.
   Guide: Adult checks in at two predictable times, responds to student signal by honoring the plan without public conversation, and records recovery latency.
5. MindGuiding for option generation
   Child: Before acting on a two-step task, [Student] proposes one option and selects a plan in 2 of 4 opportunities, with moderate support.
   Guide: Adult models short internal dialogue when stuck and attributes action to [Student]’s idea. Fade toward minimal support by Q3.

Closing Thought

If we are honest, many IEPs have taught students to perform for us. RDI® invites schools to teach students to think with us, then without us. That is the work that carries into life. When goals name regulation first, pair child and guide, and trace a path from discovery to milestone, Thursday afternoon begins to look like Tuesday morning. Not identical. Just more available and more resilient.

If you want help translating this lens into your setting or need a second pair of eyes on draft goals, connect with a Certified RDI® Consultant. Teams make faster, steadier progress when they have a guiding partner who can calibrate supports, measure what matters, and help fade the adults at the right time.

Find a Certified RDI® Consultant: https://www.rdiconnect.com/find-a-consultant